


Rude Awakening:  I Went Into Radio For This?

by Allstar20032, DIsaac (Allstar20032)



Series: Rude Awakening [2]
Category: Daria - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-19
Updated: 2011-06-19
Packaged: 2017-10-20 13:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/213214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allstar20032/pseuds/Allstar20032, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allstar20032/pseuds/DIsaac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stacy and Sandi are at war and it could derail an important business deal. Can Daria save the day?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rude Awakening:  I Went Into Radio For This?

**Author's Note:**

> Legal: I own nothing NOTHING and MTV and Viacom owns Daria and the rest of the crew.
> 
> We are just being goofy over here and having fun!

  
**Scene 1 (At the WHUB Breakroom there Upchuck and Robert are talking )**   


ROBERT: You can't say that on air!

UPCHUCK: She sounded really hot and you know the rest (Grrring)

ROBERT: I swear man, you are going to get slapped one day.

UPCHUCK: (Proudly): Hmm, That happen more times to me then you'll ever know.

ROBERT: What's called taking a hint to some people. You see as badge of pride!

UPCHUCK: And I wear it well too.

(Robert slaps his head in frustration as Daria and Jane walks in)

ROBERT: Daria, Jane - hurrying to get back on air?

DARIA: Thank god for long tracks. The radio god's gift to DJs. Thank you, Coldplay for a freaking 8 min. song.

JANE: I can get use to you being the Music Director. Hey, Robert. Upchuck, Who did you offend last night?

DARIA: And how bad was it?

UPCHUCK: Feisty Ladies, (Grrr) Why do you assume that I offended anyone?

DARIA: See the last sentence. Robert, fill me in.

ROBERT: Upchuck, Hears what he thinks is a sexy lady.

JANE: This is going to be good.

ROBERT: So he asked Off-air, Can she send some picture to his phone? This is She what she sent.

(Hands Upchuck's cell phone but before she picks it up Jane get a bottle of hand sanitizer out and uses it)

UPCHUCK: Now why you need to do all that?

JANE: I don't where YOUR cell phone has been, Upchuck!

UPCHUCK: Good point.

(Picks up the phone to see the picture)

JANE: (Barley containing laughter) Like them a little big and juicy there, Upchuck. Daria, come look.

DARIA: Can't it be unseen?

JANE: You won't know if you don't see it.

DARIA: OK, Lane. But I will kill and bury you in that bridesmaid outfit from my cousin Erin's 3rd wedding.

JANE: How many she on now?

DARIA: Seven, I'm actually quite impress she can find men that want to marry her. I'm going to regret seeing this pic.

(JANE shows DARIA the Pic and Daria falls out laughing)

DARIA: (Recovering a little) Mrs. Johanssen? Sent you THAT!? Damn, Upchuck, this is the first time that YOU were offended. (Shaking her head)Also, It might be the first time In my life that no matter how hard I try; there isn't no perfect putdown then that!

JANE: Upchuck, when you said you like some back. I didn't know you like that much back.

ROBERT: Hey Amigas, save some funny for me.

DARIA: Hey Jane, we have to run back on air.

JANE: Man, this was SOOO worth it. See ya, Roberto.

ROBERT: What the lesson here, Upchuck?

UPCHUCK: Ask for pictures on Facebook or Twitter.

ROBERT: I could get mad but I don't want that bulging eyeball look. It don't look good on me.

 

  
**Scene 2 (Back in the studio at WHUB)**   


BURNOUT: You two - I see coffee. What - no coffee for the person trying to run this ship, Hmm?

DARIA: I get it, Burnout. You want coffee.

BURNOUT: Heavy on the milk and sugar. Remember, a happy producer makes a HAPPY morning show or so they said.

JANE: Have you hear what happen to, Upchuck, last night?

BURNOUT: Who did he offend this time?

DARIA: Upchuck wasn't the offender.

JANE: But the offended.

BURNOUT:(giggling) You have to tell me that story off-air. We’re back on in 30 seconds.

DARIA: If I hear that “NAPA know how” commercial again, I will find that guy and show him some "know how" I learned from writing Melody Powers novels.

JANE: Remind me to sing that to you out loud at the coffee shop later.

DARIA: I won't.

BURNOUT: We’re on in 10...9...8...7.....

VO: This is WHUB Boston, The HUB 98.5, New England's Alternative station. Now it's Time for a Rude Awakening with Daria and Jane! 

DARIA: Welcome to the morning show for those who are very anti-mornings.

JANE: And it’s the worst morning of them all. Monday morning!

DARIA: It’s 9:08 and 61 degrees, so it seems that it doesn't completely suck with the high going to 80 today.

JANE: But it does still suck because it's Monday, of course.

DARIA: That it does, Amiga. That it does. Should we give away those tickets this half hour or next?

JANE: Let them suffer a little bit more. It’ll make it almost worth it.

DARIA: You heard the lady; but they must go by 10am for sure. So how about 9:40 to get them out of here?

JANE: Deal. Time for a band that doesn't suck.

DARIA: You mean WHUB will be playing something that is actually good?

JANE: Who controls the play list?

DARIA: I do.

JANE: Bad Music Picker. Bad.

DARIA: Stop it. You're making feel "something" and if you’re not careful, I'll lose this money-making monotone.

JANE: It’s Rude Awakening with Daria "The Bad Music Picker" Morgendorffer and Jane Lane. Let’s do some Adele with Rolling in the Deep on The HUB 98.5.

BURNOUT: We are clear.

DARIA: My picks aren't that bad, are they?

JANE: They aren't and you losing the monotone would happen when the world ends - and that couldn’t even be guaranteed at all.

BURNOUT: Daria, if you think you're bad, then you need to listen to Stacy try to fit as much "Hard Rock" at 6pm as humanly possible. Then, try to think of her being Boston's Sweetheart, too.

JANE: As long as they don't take her to a bar in New England. Then all bets are off.

DARIA: Then, she’ll turn into “Death Rowe” and mess up the first person that pisses her off in the wrong way.

JANE: Remember New Year's 2009?

DARIA: That was the night. The biggest party ever thrown by the station - and it turned to the biggest "Roadhouse" reenactment ever, starring Stacy Rowe and Dani Moreno. That was crazy!

BURNOUT: Still have the emotional war wounds from that one.

DARIA: Ask them and they’ll down play the heck out of it.

JANE: As every good sweetheart does. Ain't Sandi Griffin from Channel 5 supposed to stop by and sign the marketing agreement this week?

DARIA: I still feel dirty doing that deal. Wait a second; it’s a "Fashion Club" reunion. Stacy and Sandi were in that cult...... wait I meant, club.

JANE: No, you meant "cult". You were correct the first time.

DARIA: And you would be right. You know, I’ve never heard Stacy, at least in my time with this station and it’s been at least 5 years, ever mention that club or anything dealing with high school at all.

JANE: I guess it was easier for us, but for Stacy that was a major part of her life she wants to forget.

DARIA: Do we really have to ask why? I like minding my own business over here.

JANE: I’m a little curious. Plus, I’m nosy as well. Keeps it interesting for me.

  
  
**Scene 3 (Shannahan’s Pub, The usual hang out for the gang, also one of the few bars that Moreno and Rowe can be in at the same time)**   


STACY: It great you invited me out, Jane, and right before my shift, too. Cool.

JANE: No problem. I like to get to know my co-workers better.

STACY: I know that’s a little bit of a fib, but that’s just who you are and it’s why I like hanging out with you. -

JANE: It’s not a fib at all, but as you said by knowing me, I understand. You know that Sandi’s supposed to be at the station this week.

STACY: I really don’t care about her at all.

JANE: Really?

STACY: Okay, not really. I never told anyone outside of the people that were in the room what happened on that faithful day.

JANE: Uhmm, is this something that can be said in public?

STACY: Yes and no. You’re about to hear the REAL reason why the Fashion Club broke up.

JANE: I want to hear this story.

STACY: I thought you would. Plus, you’re not all judgmental and everything, too.

JANE: Gee, Thanks?

(Flashing back to the party where the fashion club when on sabbaticals)

STACY: (VO): In the records of history at Lawndale High, “The Fashion Club” ended on a summer night in June, 2000.

JANE: (VO): That has been the line Quinn always said to Daria when she starts talk about “Fashion Club”.

STACY: (VO): But remember, sabbatical means a break. It lasted all of one summer weekend. We as a group were around ‘til August of that year - one night in Sandi’s room changed everything.

(Back to the bar)

JANE: Boom chicka wah wah.

STACY: IT NOT THAT KIND OF STORY!!!! Now can you get your head out of the gutter for a second, geesh?

(Flashing back to at that meeting)

(VO): Anyways, I was the secretary of the club - taking notes as usual and as you remember Sandi still wanted revenge for her losing her voice which was exactly what I wished for because I was getting tired of her damn mouth.

SANDI: Stacy, Capris were so last season. Why can’t you shop properly like the rest of us real members? Maybe your dad could sell some of those crappy cars he has; so that you can have an actual clothes budget.

STACY: (VO): At that very moment, all of the hate and the venom that I had taken for ten long brutal years, made me do something I should have done years ago.

STACY: HEY SANDI, MAYBE I’M NOT A TIGHT ASS BITCH THAT GETS OFF ON POWER TRIPPING. I’VE HAD TO HEAR YOUR CRAP FOR TEN YEARS. I. I. I.

SANDI: (Taunting): What is it, Stacy?

STACY: (A yell of anger then with tears in her eyes) I’VE FREAKING HAD IT WITH YOU, BITCH!!

(HITS SANDI WITH THE NOTEBOOK IN HER HAND AND GOES FOR BLOOD)

(Flashes back to the bar)

JANE: (Shocked): You actually did that to her?

STACY: And more. Way MORE then was told. Sandi had to get plastic surgery after I was done with her. You know the picture on my computer?

JANE: The Bitch Slap picture?

STACY: The person who took that was Jefferson Mercer; Quinn’s husband now, but her serious boyfriend at the time. Remember the three J’s - he was Jeffy.

JANE: I didn’t recognize the whole Jefferson part, but when you said Jeffy, I knew quickly.

STACY: He was there and took the photo at the moment of impact. That photo became famous around Lawndale High. I still remember the headline in the school paper “FASHION CLUB IS NO MORE!” That is what Jeffy does now - he takes pictures for the local paper there in Columbus.

  
JANE: Wow. What happen after that?

STACY: That one moment in Sandi’s house set off a "butterfly effect" of events that shaped who we are today. By the way, it’s a good movie with Ashton Kucther, too. Have you seen it before?

JANE: I took a pass on that movie.

STACY: Trust me; it's a really good movie. Where was I? Oh Yeah! It changed who we were as people. We decided to disband that night. Sandi and I became arch-rivals. You know the "Rowe and Moreno, Never Together" joke in the office? I have one that is the truth: "Griffin and Rowe, Never Together!" You remember the New Years 2009 story that everyone’s still talking about 2 years later? The party was sponsored by Channel 5 and WHUB. That was the first time we were in the SAME room in NINE years. She called me a C, I called her a B, and we were out to whoop each others A. It was like that Patrick Swayze movie, you know?

JANE: Roadhouse.

STACY: Yeah. That was it. Dani had to help out in that fight because I was going to kill Sandi that night. Bartender, Two Buds, Please.

JANE: What happen with you and the Rest of the club in high school?

STACY: Quinn, as much she tries to deny it, is a Morgendorffer. Imagine Daria, but popular, with plenty of charm and charisma plus, a sunny disposition on life. So she did great without the Fashion Club, 4.0, that whole senior year. She ended going to law school in Columbus, OH, Capital University I think. I can’t for the life of me figure out what was in Columbus, Ohio? She said a great law school and two awesome fashion malls called Easton and Polaris. Hey, we were still about the fashion even after that club was done. Well, she tore it up in Criminal Law and looked good doing it too. She is now the Assistant County Prosecutor in Franklin County. I heard she is tough in court.

Tiffany, she was well Tiffany and shocked the whole school to its very core when she scored an 1150 on the STAT.

JANE: (SPITS out Beer when hearing this bit of news): ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY!! THAT IS UNREAL!! CALL SICK SAD WORLD ON THAT ONE!

STACY: No BS here. It's the truth. I was shocked as well. I scored an 1100 on that test. I have suspicions as well, but Li was gone and fired by then. So I know it was legit. She went to College in LA at USC and discovered film making while there. She is currently directing a movie, starring Brittney Taylor. It's called "The Good Die Young." It’s going to be a thriller of a picture. She seems very good at that.

  
Sandi, after that faithful moment, she made it her personal mission to make my time at Lawndale, hell on earth. She did do at various times like stealing my first serious boyfriend, Ted Dewitt-Clinton and bulling the living hell out of me. But, As soon as that picture started going around she backed off and ran to her mother at WLND and became interested in all facets of TV news, which I heard from Quinn. She also told me that after going to Lawndale State and graduating with a degree in Communication. She became the youngest News Director in the Country. Three years ago, the big time came calling and driven by fame and whole lot of money. She left WLND. It was on really bad terms. Quinn has told me that, She has never brought up her mom not one since leaving Lawndale for Boston. I find it funny because she dresses like her now. You know, blue shirt, power outfit, the whole nine yards

JANE: After all that, how did you end you sitting before me today?

STACY: After going through the hell that was my senior year, I graduated from Lawndale High. For a year or two, I raced cars for a living and was very good at it, too. Then, I thought about what would give me the same thrill of racing without all the ugly side-effects - like, you know, death and serious disfigurement. I made a decision to go to college in Philly and met my friend and my sister in rock, Dani Moreno. She is to me what Daria is to you. We ended up in radio by accident and what an awesome accident that was. I have made more real friends in radio then I ever did in High School, and that’s saying a lot. Out of the four, I'm strong friends with only one, Quinn. Rarely do I ever see the other; Tiffany and I despise the last one with a strong passion, Sandi. I can’t deny though, that they each played a role in who I am as a person and why I care about what I do.

JANE: Well, I said earlier that I wanted to know and now that I know - it’s crazy how life for popular and unpopular is really not different at all. And here I was bitching, saying popular people have no real problem in life. You have problems, just some completely different problems.

STACY: Life’s funny that way. That’s why we drink to it. So when is she coming?

JANE: Tomorrow at the earliest.

STACY: Excellent. I can't wait to see her face to face.

(Thinking to herself, while taking a sip of her beer) And maybe face to fist again as well.

  
  
**Scene 4 (Daria’s Office at WHUB)**   


  
DARIA: An actual quiet moment at WHUB - now this is a strange but good feeling around here.

(Dani come flying in)

DANI: Daria, I need to talk with you about something.

DARIA: No, Dani. Bail money is not a tax write-off.

DANI: I’m serious and thanks for the tip as well.

DARIA: Thanks and what is it about?

DANI: The WHUB and WNEB deal.

DARIA: It won’t affect the on-air talent, I know that for sure.

DANI: It’s not that. Is it possible that Sandi can just sign it at her office and not here?

DARIA: Uhmm, I’m not getting what you’re saying?

DANI: If Griffin and Rowe are in the same building - there might be a repeat of 2009 at this studio.

DARIA: Eeep! I thought Sandi and Stacy were on good terms.

DANI: Try the worst of enemies. Daria, I know my friend. There is a reason she is called “Death Rowe”. She wants to kick Sandi Griffin in the teeth.

DARIA: Well, if I remember correctly, every one from high school wanted to kick her ass for different reasons.

DANI: But Stacy did it and on two separate occasions, as well.

DARIA: Jane and I were talking about this today. I didn’t know the “Fashion Club” Reunion would be World War III.

DANI: Or Roadhouse II, starring Stacy Rowe and Sandi Griffin.

DARIA: What’s up with this fascination with the movie “Roadhouse” today?

DANI: It’s a good movie.

DARIA: (After staring Dani with puzzlement for a second): Here’s my plan - I’ll try to get Sandi here at a time when Stacy isn’t here. I know we usually like to stay around this building a lot, so it’s going to be hard.

DANI: Good luck with that idea, Boss. Hey, I could help by taking Stacy out of the area at that time to get a drink.

DARIA: I’m not the boss … well, not yet - but I sure feel like it

  
**  
Scene 5 (WHUB studios, Next day)   
**   


DARIA: Welcome to our little corner of sarcasm we like to call WHUB. My office is over here, Ms. Griffin.

SANDI: I’m actually surprised; I was imaging the studio being grimier.

DARIA: (A little insulted by her comment): We’re glad you like it. My office is over there in the corner….. (Her Splendora “You’re Standing on My Neck” ring tone goes off) Sandi, I’ll be with you in a second.

(Looks on her IPhone and see this text from Dani: “Stacy isn’t with me right now! When I went by to pick her up - she wasn’t there. She might have been tipped off on that Sandi would be there. She may be hiding at the studios.”)

DARIA: You’ve got to be kidding me?

(Screams heard from Daria’s Office and she runs to the craziness)

DARIA: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!!!!

(Sandi and Stacy with pigtails are going at it in Daria’s office)

DARIA: (With great anger): YOU TWO, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE! (Anger growing in her eyes to Demartino levels) NOW! (Pointing at each one) YOU AND YOU WILL BE BACK HERE AT NOON SHARP TOMORROW! WE GOT TO HAVE A POW WOW!

SANDI: Bitch!

STACY: Whore!

(They are now fighting again in the lobby of WHUB as Upchuck walks by)

UPCHUCK: (With great excitement): A Catfight at WHUB? You heard me! There is a God!! Where is my popcorn at? Where’s my camera at? Thank You! THANK YOU!

 **  
  
Scene 6 (Daria’s Apartment talking over pizza)   
  
**

DARIA: Jane, I have never shouted with that much anger in my life.

JANE: Wow! You were yelling? I’m shocked.

DARIA: I wished I still had my trophy so I could’ve knocked some sense into them. Why am I always the peacemaker and how come it always involves the damn members of that fashion cult?

JANE: Remember Tommy Sherman?

DARIA: I sort of remember him.

JANE: Remember what I said about people wanting to talk to you?

DARIA: (Being dramatic a little): Ouch, my little head can’t think too much. Hey Daria, can you think for me?

JANE: (Laughing): I didn’t say it that way but you got the gist of it.

DARIA: Lucky for us, we have a radio show, too.

JANE: And the world is still wondering why.

DARIA: You know, I’m going with this for the big question segment tomorrow.

JANE: Bad news, Amiga. My brain is hurting from something Stacy said.

DARIA: Spill it, Lane.

JANE: She said something that got me thinking over here, Can one event change the course of history?

DARIA: Wow, now my big brain is hurting, we’re just DJ’s. Wait a second … are we in that dangerous “what if" territory?

JANE: Don’t you writers love wondering about “what if” scenarios?

DARIA: Sorta, but people can’t live in “what if?” land. They got to think “what’s next?” Do I have regrets? Hell Yes, but all people do. Though those experiences made me the person I am.

JANE: Let’s see if I can crash the system. What are these regrets, Morgendorffer?

DARIA: Do we really want go in that area because we know the answer?

BOTH: (Laughter): Tom.

DARIA: You know that could have been our “Stacy and Sandi” Moment.

JANE: (Realizing this): Wow - that really could have been the moment that changed history.

DARIA: Logic and fact strikes again! Now pass that pizza. Thinking made me hungry.

 

  
**  
Scene 7 (WHUB Break room, Morning, Next day)    
**   


ROBERT: Morning, Upchuck. What are you doing?

UPCHUCK: Checking out the site girlfights.com.

ROBERT: Why are you on girlfights.com?

UPCHUCK: Uploading the footage I got of an awesome fight from yesterday.

ROBERT: I am afraid to ask. Who was fighting?

UPCHUCK: Our Own, Stacy Rowe versus Channel 5's Sandi Griffin.

ROBERT: WHAT! Upchuck got something I want to see! I got to check it out!

(Both guys are now at the computer)

UPCHUCK: It had everything a good girl fight should have: Hair pulling or weave pulling in the case of Sandi, check, hateful language to each other, check, tearing of clothes, HUGE Check! And the piece of resistance, the Knockout by Stacy.

(Stacy scream follow by a haymaker that connect to Sandi's jaw)

BOTH: (Winced): DAAAAAYYYYYYYYUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMM!

ROBERT: Sandi got the (add your own favorite curse word here) knocked out of her.

(Stacy walks in the break room)

STACY: Hey guys. What ya watching?

(They shut the computer quickly)

BOTH: Nothing!

UPCHUCK: (Nervously) Nothing that you need seeing. We want you to stay sweet and caring as usual.

STACY: OK, what’s the deal?

ROBERT: There’s no deal here. You hear that Upchuck there’s nothing to see.

STACY: Come on - what is it really? Some nasty euro porn that Upchuck found last night? (Laughing)

UPCHUCK: (Breaths deeply and shoots it straight with her): It's your epic fight yesterday. Do you want watch it now?

STACY: I would love to watch it!

  
UPCHUCK: (Flips the computer open): Here you go. It's not good at all, I'm warning ya now.

(Stacy sits down and watched the video but as she watches it she grows more and more uncomfortable with what she sees.)

STACY: (near tears and panicking) I was like this yesterday? That can't be me? I'm not like that. I'm never like that! My god what is wrong with me? Why did I do what I did? I'm a monster! What the hell is wrong with me? Who the hell am I? (Gets up quickly and sobs out of the room)

(BOTH Upchuck and Robert looking in stunned silent of what they just witnessed)

  
**  
Scene 8 (Daria office, for the "Powwow", Looking like Ms Li's office, Sandi and Stacy are siting together one side and Daria is behind her desk taking charge)   
**   


DARIA: It is good to see you here. I will be honest with you. What happen yesterday puts a black eye on both WHUB Radio and Channel 5. I have some ground rules. There will be NO NAME CALLING. NO HITTING AT ALL. You hit and Boston's finest will be here to arrest both of you. There will be CIVILITY between you two. YOU will be allowed finish your thoughts. I don't want any BS in this conversation. Sandi, WNEB knows you are here with me and they got it under control. Stacy, Dani got the afternoon today and Upchuck will be covering Dani on the Night show. You got all of that?

(Both of them shake there heads yes)

STACY: Daria, I have something I need to show Sandi from Yesterday.

DARIA: How this going to help the situation?

STACY: Daria, When It was shown to me earlier. I was shocked at how I was in. It has to be seen.

DARIA: OK. Let's see it.

(The Video of there fight is seen and Sandi is visible shaken as well as Stacy all over again)

SANDI: I really don't know how someone can hold that much against one person then I figured out something.

STACY: (with a ting of sarcasm): What did you figure out really, Sandi?

SANDI: (Meekly): I don't even know who the hell I am. My license may say I'm Sandi Griffin but as a person I really don't know who I am or where I am in life. That night 10 years ago, I should have seen that as a cold slap in face meaning "Sandi, real life is coming. Are you ready?"

(Tone of her Voice raises) But I was way too damn high on my horse to figure that out. Out of the three other member of former "Fashion Club" each and every one of them see me as a bitch and most of them go out of there way avoid me. You actually beat me down on three separate occasions

(Sobbing) I'm not a bitch. SANDI GRIFFIN REFUSES TO BE A BITCH! I can't be a bitch any longer. My happiness and who I am can’t take my crap any more. I wish that we were on better terms. I wish that all of us were on friendlier term. I’m sorry for the hell I put you through for 20 years. I'm sorry that my dumb-ass didn't realize what damn good friends I had when I had them.

(Now to the point of breakdown)And….What! What do I DO. OH, I go throw it all away, FOR WHAT? FAME? MONEY? POWER? Who gives a damn? NOBODY THAT WHO! NOT MY DAMN BITCH OF A MOM! NOT MY DAMN JACKASS OF A DAD! NOT MY DAMN BROTHER! Nobody? Nobody. nobody. I wish I can know what does this life mean to me but hell, I don't even know what’s next lately, so I have wonder out loud to myself, Is it too late to make a change for the betterment of me? I don't want to be empty, hollow or shallow anymore! I can't be hollow no more. I can't do it at all.

(Sandi Breakdowns and sobbing uncontrollably)

STACY: (gets up and hugs Sandi): I forgive you, Sandi. It's never too late. It's never too late to be forgiven or to change and do something better. I have wanted you to be in my life for years. But the way you were made it impossible to do. Why did we fight for years? That’s a question for another day. You’ve been like a sister to me. I wanted this from you for years. I wanted you to be the REAL Sandi Griffin not the one you were acting to be but the one that’s just you.

(DARIA sits back and thinking for a moment about some she said earlier in life)  
  
Scene 9 (Daria's apartment)

(Daria is reading and thinking still about what happen today)

DARIA: I know who I have talk to.

(Picks up phone and dials cut to a phone at a Downtown Columbus condo where Quinn is at)

QUINN: Hello, Quinn Mercer, speaking?

DARIA: Hey, Quinn.

QUINN: How Boston?

DARIA: Well we haven't a World Series, Super Bowl, NBA Finals or Stanley Cup, we are currently not on fire so that's good thing. How Columbus?

QUINN: The Blue Jackets suck and OSU haven't won a national title yet so we aren't on fire, either. What's on your mind?

DARIA: You remember that conversation many years ago about guardian angels?

QUINN: Daria, It's been a long time ago. I hope you’re not calling to dump on me. I have to deal with that in court.

DARIA: Logic and experience HAS proven me wrong. You know Stacy and Sandi?

QUINN: Those two will fight till the end of time. They will end up killing each other; I just hope it's not in Franklin County.

DARIA: They're friends again.

QUINN: WHAT!! You aren't just joking again, right?

DARIA: I saw it with my own two eyes, Quinn. You might get a call from Sandi later on. My advise, take that call.  
Reason I called is because...... I was thinking about what I said then. It might need some revision. Some things happen for a reason that could and probably be bigger then you or I see in life. What I am saying is that there could be something bigger that lead us in the end. What "It" is - I don't know, but "it" is now up for debate.

QUINN: I could tell you that, The CIA, the IRS and those guys with the black helicopters. You know dealing with you all these years; I can get those jokes off better then you anyway. You should visit Columbus sometime when your travels take you here.

DARIA: I'll do that one of these days. Then I can annoy you in person.

QUINN: Careful, I'm a lawyer; actually, I'm the law. I can take you on in logic now. (Smiling) Plus, I know what you can and can't do in Ohio.

DARIA: (sarcastically) Oooh, radio person scared but I'm in Boston, Mass. You can't touch me. Question, does that “People’s Court” theme play in your head?

QUINN: Darrria! I plead the fifth to that. Tell Jane and the crew I said hello and tell Upchuck that if he pulls what he pulled again in West Jefferson - We will press charges against him.

DARIA: I will. Bye.

QUINN: Bye.

(Jane walks in)

JANE: Heard about the meeting today?

DARIA: What did you hear?

JANE: I heard it had more water works then an episode of Oprah and a vulnerable Sandi Griffin.

DARIA: I need to start charging for my services. I’m starting to think I got into the wrong line of work.

JANE: Well, we gotta do something get paid so that we can support our addiction to pizza, some how. Also, I have to give you some credit - you brought back the Fashion Club from the dead for the second time.

DARIA: Second time?

JANE: Yea, Amiga, Second time.

DARIA: When was the first?

JANE: That bet on that club staying together after Sandi got pudgy, remember? You won that bet.

DARIA: Dammit, when you’re right, you’re right.

JANE: You kinda of became an unofficial 5th member of the club. The Club’s “Psycho doctor” - for lack of the better term.

DARIA: You’re right, but that fight video was kick ass awesome. Hey, you think it will go viral?

JANE: Knowing how some people will say fake at everything on the net? It has a chance.

 

  
**  
SCENE 10 (WHUB Studio)   
**   


VO: It’s Rude Awakening with Daria and Jane on The HUB 98.5.

DARIA: Welcome back to the madness we call, Rude Awakening it’s 7:35 and we are at…..

(BURNOUT holds a wipe board with the current temperature 37) Burnout has 37

(JANE Holds up 36) and Lane, has 36 degrees.

Its 38 degrees. Burnout, I see you are closest to being right without going over.

JANE: No Fair, are we getting the temperature from Logan or our studio?

DARIA: One, we get them Logan and two, you are supposed to one up them. Don't you ever watch The Price is Right?

JANE: Folks, we just found out what Daria watches during lunch and The people can tell we’re bored now.

BURNOUT: What happen yesterday at your office?

DARIA: I painted and remodeled the place with padded walls and iron bar over the windows.

JANE: Making it feel more like home, I see?

DARIA: A HAPPY Daria makes a HAPPY morning show.

BURNOUT: I mean with WNEB’s Sandi Griffin?

DARIA: Well we can ask her now. On the phone is Channel 5’s big honcho, Sandi Griffin.

SANDI:(in her office on the phone): (Actually sounding Happy): Hello, crew.

EVERYBODY: Hey, Sandi!

JANE: What is this big announcement?

SANDI: (Office): WNEB has a new radio partner!

DARIA: And who are they?

SANDI:(Office) : The HUB 98.5, of course.

DARIA: To answer your question, Burnout and the listeners out there. You now can get your “Power of 5” Weather 24/ 7/ 365, from News Channel 5. Also your news headlines and New England’s Sports Beat right here during this show and Stacy’s show every weekday.

JANE: So Channel 5 is now a part of this team?

DARIA: That is it. That's our big announcement. Now you can go back to your normal life. This is Rude Awakening on your newest Information Station, The HUB 98.5.

BURNOUT: We are clear. Good job shilling for the man and Sandi is still on the phone.

DARIA: Burnout, as long as we get paid. What do you need, Sandi?

SANDI: (Flashing to her Office): Daria, I like to thank you for yesterday. For the first time in 20 years it feels like a weight has been lifted from me. You really don’t realize the impact you had on me, I seriously count you as a friend.

DARIA: I appreciate it. If you want to talk to me, just call.

SANDI: (Back in her office): Talk to you later, (Joking this time and smiling) Quinn’s cousin.

JANE: Sound like she hasn’t change at all.

DARIA: She changed and we will as well.

  
  
**  
SCENE 11 (Jane's Apartment)   
**   


(Daria walks in)

DARIA: Hey, Lane what are you watching?

JANE: Butterfly Effect, that movie that Stacy was talking about. After seeing this movie, I'm actually surprised she went to see this.

DARIA: Why? Is it bad?

JANE: No, it's a really dark psychological thriller. I think you might actually like it- it's Misery Chick approved.

DARIA: Oh thanks and I am sure that once I see it, The Misery Chick, will approve of it.

JANE: What do you got in your bag, amiga?

DARIA: Roadhouse.

(Jane press the stop button on her remote)

JANE: Screw this dark movie. I want to watch that! (Pointing to the movie)

DARIA: Why are you so excited to see this movie? I don't get it?

JANE: Four reasons: 1. Patrick Swazye, My favorite actor, 2. Uber amounts of butt kicking, 3. Cheesy 80's rock music, and 4. We have been talking about this movie all week long.

DARIA: That explains why the cashier asked me, "One of those weeks?", when I bought this movie.

JANE: Well it's another week done and mama, needs her hit of "Roadhouse" goodness.

DARIA: Didn't we have enough hits this week between Stacy and Sandi?

JANE: Yeah, but they were amateurs compared to Swayze. Shush, Amiga, Roadhouse is on.

(show closes with them settling in and watching Roadhouse)

 

 

 

  


**Author's Note:**

> With that This first one in the Rude awakening world is done and over. I will be posting the rest of this series VERY soon. I will post the competed ones over here and to see the uncomplete one read it over on PPMB (That's the Paper Pusher Message Board if you didn't know) I hope you was laughing at this - as that is the goal because this is a comedy, of course!
> 
> Thanks and Bye for now
> 
> DIsaac


End file.
